i think i lack the writing prowess to make this good, but i'll try...
if you are feeling happy or excited, don't read this post... no it's not depressing, but i am feeling philosophical tonight...
Each person is given only finite amount of time, so naturally the more friends you have, the less time you spend with each of them. Now this is ok if all your friends are in one big group, since when there's group activities, you don't have to worry about which one to attend. However, it becomes a much more significant problem if you have some small circles of friends. Since each group is small, you become a more essential member of the circle, and therefore your presence at each eveny becomes more important. And so you either spend less or no time with some of the groups, or less time with all of the groups. Time and distance then washes away the memories, the once clear and lively pictures now blurry and faint, then when you finally meet again, you talk about these memories, then you realize you don't know them anymore, even though you're still friends.... Obvious, right?
i don't know why you are reading this, but i'll tell you why i am writing the blog...
My big circle of friends are breaking apart, into small groups of friends who have mixed attitudes toward the others who once sit somewhere along the same dinner table on his/her birthday. None of the events involves me, and i am still friends with all of you (i hope). Of course this didn't happen over night, but over the months/years i watched... powerless to do anything... as friends start holding grudges, as couples becomes singles, as one bedroom apartment becomes two room efficiency... i simply watched. And I am tired... tired of maintaining friendships with all the little groups... tired of trying to explain why i can't make it to some event because of some other friends. Yet at the same time i am unwilling to give up the ties i've built over the years...ok perhaps this is depressing... sorry.
And when i walked into that room, i sensed the terrible pressure... it was so heavy that it was hard to breathe... how can anyone stand that? I just sat there, watching... then i listened... and understood. The emotions that built up over the years are so strong that when u have to let them go, it is suffocating... I wonder if i, by simply standing there, can take away some of that, so at least the room would have enough oxygen to prevent them from collapsing...i hope.
so you asks "what happened?"
well it doesn't matter... if you don't know, then maybe you shouldn't anyway... and if you really do need to know, then you'll find out eventually.
apologies for the lack of posts. it's the same old excuse everyone else use - got too much work. been coding nonstop for 2 weeks, until this wednesday night when i turned EVERYTHING in. hopefully this weekend will be nice and entertaining...
but hey, i am posting now.
First of all... remember that laptop i bid on ebay? well it never came, and a refund was never received. I filed fraud to ebay today, and then gonna complain to NFIC (national fraud information center) tomorrow and then file mail fraud charges agains this guy, then i'm gonna drive to new york next weekend, break down his door, set his apt on fire, and then sue him and make him pay for my gas money!...... hmm... well i'll do at least do half of them ;p
anyways, now the shocking news -- contrary to popular belief, midsemester break is ONLY friday to sunday from oct18th to 20th!!! ("seriously???")yes i am serious... BUT! endymion will be visiting =)))) so that will be fun. The implication of this is... that i will probably be staying pittsburgh 4 midsemester... unless nkc wants to go somewhere...
So there's a lot of rumors flying around recently, and alot of you seems to have this idea that i know all these shit about all these random people (or "has dirt on everybody...", as Ming puts it). well to an extend that's true. But i know only the things u guys WANT me to know, and i am sure you don't want me to go around tellin' ppl shit about you, so if i say can't tell you, stop asking... (oh and if i say i don't know, i REALLY do not know).
oh and in case you don't know yet... i have decided to study abroad... after looking at my options, i decided that i really want to goto japan next summer and next fall (ideally summer internship and fall exchange program) and the come back next next spring to complete dual degree (so i would be effectively walking twice =/ ) .. the main reason is simple, it's somethin' i wanna do and won't get a chance to once i start working, but lesser important reasons are that i can't decide what grad school program to attend, my GRE scored sux0red, and i don't really want to graduate and work. (i didn't tell you? got below 2000 for GRE...my math score was twice that of my verbal ;) yay) ... so for the juniors and imb'ers, i'll be walkin' with y'all =)
lastly, i'm in the process of setting up a picture site on brinkster, it will be login based, so you can rest assured that your pimpin' pictures won't be seen by your mother =)).
just read norm's
blog ... never knew he's so good with words... almost as good as some
english major i know ;)
Not posting alot since school work's been kinda crazy,... TOC tomorrow, maybe i'll blog some more this weekend...
i have to post... the laborday weekend was alittle too exciting to not be blogged.
man, we all seem to want to make up for the boring summer we had (or maybe it's just me), but i was soooo exhausted everyday from activities. It all started with learning that trixgirl is comin' for the weekend for bday ;) , and the last minute decision to buy dolphin plane tix to pitt as birthday present (their bdays are 3 days apart). And then, in the name of entertaining these tourists (among other things...), I go out early each morning and returning no earlier than 1am...
so friday, me and s went to waterfront to buy completely-useless-made-in-China-random-hello-kitty items at Target to add to her mostly-hello-kitty-sanrio collection. it was fun and interesting and cute... except that fact that we shopped for 5 hrs... afterwards i went to s's bday dinner, where i knew only 1/3 of the 20 ppl... and then Doherty apt 4 cake after that, and man, girls get sooooooooooo many presents for their bdays, it's unbelievable...
early next morning, M&M called: "wanna go kayaking?". so I drove for an hour to Moraine State Park with M&M&M, andrew and his friend, we kayaked from 3 to 7:30pm (listen to this, so we rowed toward one direction for an hour, then ming said 'we should row the opposite direction, headwinded, so it won't be so tough getting back', so we row for 2 hrs back the other way toward the opposite shore, to eat at a restaurant...then row back after we ate)... i am never doin it again... white water rafting is far superior =P
sunday was Carnegie Museum of Art + Natural History with J and Harv, and j's friend from cali (whoa...), that was 4 hrs, almost as exhausting as the friday shopping, but it's good cuz i FINALLY went there after saying it for 3 yrs... i can finally say, ya i've been in to that famous museum that's 5 feet away from my university
on Labor day, i was planning on sleepin' in until sun no longer shining thru my window to make up for the over-usage of my muscles... but no! pittsburgh have this really GAY labor day parade that starts behind mellon arena, literally, right outside of my window 8 in the morning...Diiiiiiiiuuuu! so while trying to find tear gas bombs in my closet to throw down to the streets below, i remembered that J wants to go on clippership-downtown-sightseeing-super-touristsy-cruise... i really didn't wanna go, but man i had no choice do i, since all her other friends conveniently don't have a car (what about Bert u ask? well he happens to, very conveniently, be away in boston to visit friends for the weekend), but it turns out to be ok since we went on duquense incline to goto mt washington, which i haven't been be4. The day was too hot tho, me and jason almost passed out suffocating in the little cart on the way up the incline.
so As you can see, if labor day had been one day longer, i would have died from exhaustion... however, for me the best part about their visit was actually last nite(tuesday night), when me and j and 15 other ppl had bday dinner at OC, standing around UC turnaround watching lightening branching across the sky without making thunder (that was actually really cool), staying in doherty playing pictionary with s =)))), and taking great pictures with my elph ;).
me and bert sent them to airport today... and sadly, we don't know when the next time will be :'(
